Thursday, August 31, 2017

THE TRUTH OF CHANGE

Here I am, just as promised, with my first "truth": the reality of change. In my desire to be more transparent and open with you, I want need to be real about all the changes going on in my life, and how I've grown through them. I am not who I once was, and it's time to own my struggles and triumphs. & Make sure to read to the bottom for a message I wrote directly for YOU.

Sunday, August 6, 2017

MY NURSING STORY


This week was World Breastfeeding Week and the month of August is National Breastfeeding Month. I have been waiting to post about my nursing journey for three months, and what better time than the most celebrated month for breastfeeding?? This post is a big one because I am so passionate about this topic. In the first section, I'll be going over my experiences and the different nursing "complications" I've overcome. In the second part I'll be providing research detailing why breastfeeding is so important, and finally I will be offering some free lactation and breastfeeding services for Utah moms!

I must start by saying that this post IS NOT: shaming moms who choose to formula feed, have to formula feed for medical conditions, are substituting with formula, etc. This post IS: encouraging breastfeeding moms, spreading the importance of breastfeeding, offering assistance to those struggling with breastfeeding and documenting my journey over the past seven months. I also want to add that these are my experiences alone, and I'm not claiming that everyone's stories are the same; I can only speak to my experiences. I have to list this disclaimer because I have seen a lot of moms this week feel put down because of their feeding choice. It makes me absolutely sick to my stomach to ever see moms shame other moms for birthing, feeding or raising their babies differently than they are. We all need each other! Motherhood is harddd. (If you follow me on Instagram, you've seen my post about this the other day.) This journey is so trying and we need to support each other. So, with that being said, on to my story!

Dage at one week old

MY NURSING STORY

Thursday, July 6, 2017

BECOMING FEARLESS



It's easy to forget how good we have it... until life throws us a wake-up call. My sweet Scott is Type 1 Diabetic (insulin dependent for life). His highs and lows are controlled by what he eats and how much insulin he takes, but things like stress, hormonal imbalances, happiness/sadness, illness, and any other normal body changes also affect his bloodsugar. This means that even if he's doing everything right and taking the correct amount of insulin, there will randomly be nights when he goes extremely high or low. For those who don't know much about T1D, going too high means hyperglycemia or ketoacidosis, which causes kidney failure, loss in eye sight, nerve damage and amputation. Going too low means hypoglycemia, which causes blurred vision, confusion, immense hunger, seizures, and eventually loss of consciousness (a coma). Both are deadly if left untreated.

Two nights ago, I was about 5 seconds from dialing 911 for an ambulance as Scott fell into a near-comatose state. Unresponsive, thrashing, shaking, sweating. It's crazy to see someone you know like the back of your hand be completely controlled and overcome by a physical ailment. I woke up at 2:30am to him rocking his body into me the best he could. He had no control over his arms or legs. He made out the mumbled word, "bloodsugar" and I flew to the fridge for juice (the next best thing to glucagon). He guzzled a huge bottle. He was still out of it for a while. I tried to talk to him but he couldn't make out any words. I sat with my phone at the ready, watching him closely, until he finally started responding and asked for some food. 

Even after he had control over his hands again and was feeding himself, I laid there trembling, wanting to make sure he was high enough before I dare fell back asleep. Scott hadn't dropped like that in over six months and I'd forgotten how scary it was. His diabetes has been a normal part of life for us since we were dating. He does an incredible job at keeping his levels within normal range and never ever complains, so although it is a life-altering illness, we don't focus on it more than we need to. Moments like these pull me out of my cocoon of safety and remind me how fragile my time is here.

The next day, all I could think about was how precious life is and how we should treat it better. Do we live each day in the moment to it's fullest, or do we live consumed by distractions? Do we prioritize our relationships to the highest degree or do we prioritize frivilous things that we cannot take with us into the next life? What are we doing right now with our fragile, sacred, incredible, blessed lives? I know that there are definitely goals I need to work on in these areas.

Living with the knowledge that you could lose your closest loved one day after day, it changes you. Knowing that Scott would slip away from me if we didn't have access to insulin is terrifying. I have been asked many times how we handle the stress, fear and despair that comes with this disease, and I have the answer: faith. Faith and fear cannot co-exist. Embrace uncertainty with acceptance and faith, and your perception will completely change. You will become fearless. You will know that no matter what happens in the future, everything is okay for the time-being. You move forward and go about your day without giving into the fear of what is to come. That is the only way that we can live life to it's fullest and seek happiness.

xoxo
Brittany

Monday, June 26, 2017

TIE DYE MAXI + UPDATE

Good morning friends!
I had so many messages asking about this coffee tie dye maxi dress that I decided to write a post! In complete honesty, I got it for such a good deal that I almost want to keep the site a secret… but I can’t keep it to myself, I have to share the looove. The site is SheIn, and I've actually purchased a few items there before (like this dress--those of you who have followed me for ages will remember it). Just follow this link and type "coffee tie dye maxi" to see for yourself. A few reasons why I'm obsessed with this amazing dress:

First: It's on sale and it's currently under $20! Quality over quantity is real but there's a line I just will not cross when it comes to spending. I find pride in shopping good deals--actual good deals. I chuckle to myself when I see bloggers post different outfit pieces with captions like, "this top is 'just' $65!" "These jeans are under $100!" as if they're such great deals. I'd rather not break the bank and save for other things like exploring the world around me. This dress allows for both quality and the peace of mind that comes with shopping smart.

Second:  It has become one of my closet staples primarily because of its comfort. Those of you who follow me know that comfort is a MUST, especially since I became a momma. What I love about this coffee tie dye maxi is that it's so stretchy and soft that I wore it when I was 41 weeks pregnant (recognize that Instagram post?), two weeks after having a baby, and I've been nursing in it & using it ever since. It's flattering on any body size, shape or stage--you can trust me on that.

Third: Pockets! Enough said.

Sit back, enjoy these pretty photos taken by CaLea Gunther Photography that really show you the nature of the dress, and order yourself something fun for the summer through SheIn! And feel free to scroll to the bottom if you want to read a little life update. :)


Monday, June 5, 2017

I JUST KNEW


I never thought soul mates existed before I met Scott. I truly didn't. I had loved before, but I strongly believed that love was only built on years and years of memories deep layers of trust. I was fragile, afraid, and extremely cautious after everything I had experienced in my childhood. When I would hear people say things like, "When you know, you know!" after a couple short months, I thought it was complete insanity. There was no way people just "knew"---how could they? How could they base such a vastly important decision on "knowing," and surrendering their heart to another so quickly??

Wednesday, May 17, 2017

THE PERFECT JEGGINGS

I couldn't believe that I was waking up to snow this morning... Really, Utah? It's supposed to be summer, haha! I had these pics taken a week ago & it was super warm. I have a fun post for you guys this week, & there's a goodie at the end for my followers, so read on!

As a woman, and especially as a new mom, it can be tough to find pants that fit flawlessly. Especially while shopping online (amiright?). BUT it's possible! I've found them--the unicorn of the pants world--and I can't help but share with you guys. 


They're stretchy, comfy, sturdy, flattering, and the cuuutest color. I have LIVED in these Olive Moto Jeggings since the day I opened my shipment. This boutique also sells them in midnight blue and dusty pink (I had a hard time choosing between the pink & olive!).

Sunday, May 14, 2017

DAGE'S BIRTH STORY

***Please feel free to leave any questions you may have in the comments, or send them to me on Facebook/Instagram***

On January 13th, 2017 at 1:40am, Dage Edgar Dangerfield came into this world after 25 hours of labor and an incredible birth I never would have dreamed of having. As I sit here in the room where he was born, remembering my birth affirmations which hung with lace and twine across the ceiling above me, I can't help but feel nostalgic. Holding my sleeping angel in my lap, I am full of so many emotions that I can scarcely express. This is the story of his birth, but it's also the story of how I conquered my biggest fear and was born into motherhood.

all photography by CaLea Gunther Photography
I want you to know that if you're terrified of childbirth, I was exactly where you are. My entire life, I was petrified. I would freeze up if I talked about birth. I planned to adopt children my entire life until I was about 16 years old and thought, "well, I want my kids to have my genetics, so I better have them myself. I'll just ask to be drugged up as much as possible." (I'm seriously not kidding!) I just want to get that out there to any of you who are scared. After nine months of prayer and filling my head with knowledge, I walked away from pregnancy a completely different person. The change was such a stark contrast. By the time Dage came, I was informed and took charge of my experience. I was a woman who would have been traumatized by birth, and now I have felt every beautiful moment and can't wait to do it again. I am overwhelmingly grateful for my experience, and I just want to share with every everyone who will read it in hopes that whoever you are and whatever stage of life you're in (and especially if you're fearful of birth), it will remind you that there is a way to have an empowering, healing, nearly painless experience.

My due date was January 1st, 2017, but Dage decided to come twelve days later. I had a strange feeling my entire pregnancy that Dage was going to come on a Thursday. (Which is insane, because that's exactly what happened.) Every day, I felt more and more ready for him to come into the world. I had chosen not to be induced so that Dage would come once his lungs were fully developed, and because of that I awoke every morning wondering if it was the day I was going to finally meet him. It was such a beautiful feeling but I definitely learned a lot about patience during that time. I tried my best to enjoy every single day that I carried Dage, because despite the discomforts (and there were many), pregnancy amazed me. I passed the average 41 weeks + 5 days for FTM's and I honestly never thought that I would! I think every mom hopes to have their baby come early, haha. Holding on through the final trimester took a lot of mental strength! The last few weeks especially, I felt soooo ready to pop.

In my prenatal appointment three days before his birth, my midwife Diane (reference at the bottom) had predicted that the pressure change of the Wolf full moon on Thursday morning would bring Dage earthside. (I know what you might be thinking--the pressure of the moon affecting when babies come? What?? Yes, it's totally a thing, as long as the baby and cervix is ready. Crazy!) On Wednesday I started feeling pressure in the air. It felt similar to how I would feel every day there was a snowstorm; I'd feel kinda tight and sometimes Braxton Hicks would follow. I kept myself distracted like I had been doing throughout the final trimester by cleaning, writing in my journal, painting and spending as much alone time with Scott as I could. I even cleared off a whiteboard on our wall and wrote, “We’re ready for you, Dage.” It's funny, other moms had told me countless times that the moment you accept you're going to be pregnant forever, the baby comes... Literally the moment I finally let go of all stress about getting him here, he came.